"I just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there
was this one tape that had all of these memories and feelings and
great joy and sadness. Right there in the palm of my hand. And I
thought about how many people have loved those songs. And
how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those
songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those
songs. And how much those songs really mean."
"There is this one photograph of
Sam that is just beautiful. It would be impossible to describe how
beautiful it is, but I'll try.
If you listen to the song "Asleep," and you think about those
pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you
think about the prettiest eyes you've known, and you cry, and the
person holds you back, then I think you will see the photograph."
"It's very hard for me to see Sam feel better
about herself just because an older boy sees her that way."
"He looked like all old pictures look. Old
pictures look very rugged and young, and the people in the
photographs always seem a lot happier than you are."
"I look at the field, and I think about
the boy who just made the touchdown. I think that these are the
glory days for that boy, and this moment will just be another story
someday because all the people who make touchdowns and home
runs will become somebody's dad. And when his children look at
his yearbook photograph, they will think that their dad was
rugged and handsome and looked a lot happier than they are.
I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as
I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me."
"And he talked about
how cold it was. And how hungry he was because he made sure
his family always ate before him. Things he said we just wouldn't
understand because we were lucky."
"There were only two people who weren't smiling.
My grandfather and I.
My grandfather was crying.
The kind of crying that is quiet and a secret. The kind of
crying that only I noticed. I thought about him going into my
mom's room when she was little and hitting my mom and holding
up her report card and saying that her bad grades would never
happen again. And I think now that maybe he meant my older
brother. Or my sister. Or me. That he would make sure that he
was the last one to work in a mill."
"I'm thankful that my brother played football on television so
nobody fought."
Most of the people around the table looked uncomfortable.
Some looked angry. My dad looked like he knew I was right, but
he didn't want to say anything because it wasn't his family."
"When we were all getting ready to leave, I walked up to my
grandfather and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He
wiped my lip print off with his palm and gave me a look. He
doesn't like the boys in the family to touch him. But I'm very glad
that I did it anyway in case he dies. I never got to do that with
my Aunt Helen."
"I hope it's the kind of
second side that he can listen to whenever he drives alone and
feel like he belongs to something whenever he's sad. I hope it can
be that for him."
"Sam and Patrick
looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew.
Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's
all you can ever ask from a friend."
"We just sat
there quiet for a moment, and she smiled. And I moved to the
typewriter again, and I wrote something.
"I love you, too." "
" "I know that you know that I like Craig. And I know that I
told you not to think of me that way. And I know that we can't
be together like that. But I want to forget all those things for a
minute. Okay?"
"Okay."
"I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you.
Okay?"
"Okay." She was crying harder now. And I was, too, because
when I hear something like that I just can't help it.
"I just want to make sure of that. Okay?"
"Okay."
And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never
tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made
me know that I was never so happy in my whole life."
"And I could feel what he felt on the night when he realized
that if he didn't leave, it would never be his life. It would be
theirs."
"I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to
sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be
aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting
that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why
I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. If this
gets any worse, I might have to go back to the doctor. It's getting
that bad again."
"Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other
people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of
other people have read those books before. And listened to those
songs."
"Not because she's a bad person or shallow or mean.
But because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't
stop for anybody."
